My mother always says there is nothing scarier than a nurse who never thinks they are wrong. I think there is incredible wisdom in this statement that can be applied far beyond the healthcare system.
I was raised to believe that the world is defined by rights and wrongs that were as different as black and white. The existence of gray zones in almost any issue was entirely denied. Everything I was taught came in the form of absolutes. For example, I was told men are born to lead, protect, and produce and women were born to birth children, care for their households, and listen to their husbands. I was taught that men should only marry women, and that homosexuality was a sin. Amongst other things my worldview was one which imposed an incredibly strict binary on both gender and sexuality.
By the time I turned 18, I realized many of these “black and white” truths I was taught were far more complex. Through learning about critical theories on gender and sexuality, I came to the realization I did not even fit into the boxes I believed existed.
• I have never had the desire to give birth to children.
• I have a natural and developed strength in advocacy and leadership. In fact, I now hold a degree in leadership.
• I identify as queer, and my gender identity fits poorly into a strict binary of “man and woman.”
By my very nature, I could not fit into the worldview I was born into. I was forced into realizing my worldview did not accurately reflect who I am or the world I live in.
It feels uncomfortable and embarrassing to admit that I held these views. However, hiding this story would do no good. Hiding it denies something that our society as a whole struggles to embrace: that we will be wrong.
When I reflect on how strongly I held these views it makes me more willing to admit that I may be wrong about what I believe now. When I am criticized, I practice recognizing I may be wrong before I jump to defend my position. We are imperfect and biased judges of our own beliefs and we all need practice in humility. There is only one thing I can say that is definitely right, and its that we will all be wrong.
