As we grow and progress through life, our social circles and friend groups inevitably change. Friendships may come and go. Sometimes we might find ourselves forming connections with “class friends.” They are individuals we meet in a class where we predominantly talk about the class and its content. Either way, establishing long lasting friendships revolves around building connections through shared interests and experiences. In my personal journey, I made a lot of my close friends from my part-time job. Initially we were just colleagues, and we did not know much about each other. However, as time went on, I had the opportunity to get to know them outside of work. We began to hangout outside of work, and three years later we are closer than ever. In this blog, I will explore ways to make friendships, while drawing on my own experience.
1. Be open and approachable
Being open and approachable with the people around you is essential for cultivating friendships, as it establishes a positive atmosphere and encourages others to feel comfortable around you. Maintain a genuine smile and friendly eye contact to show your presence and interest in the conversation. Additionally, actively listening and demonstrating interest in the person you are speaking with enhances connections for long-lasting friendships. Avoid interrupting during the middle of the conversation; instead, focus on their interest and experiences that they are sharing with you.
When I started my part-time job, I was afraid to make conversations with my coworkers since I was in an unfamiliar environment for the first time! Despite being a naturally talkative person, I felt intimidated and shy. One day, a group of my coworkers warmly opened up to me and included me in their conversations. I took it as an opportunity to begin to connect with them on a deeper level; I opened up to them, and expressed interest in meeting after work.
2. Initiate conversations
Initiating conversation serves as a crucial step in forging long-lasting friendships. When you start a conversation, you begin to build connections and gain insight into the other person’s personality. When meeting someone new with the potential for a close friendship, it is good to begin by asking open-ended questions to encourage deeper conversations. Stay away from questions that require a “yes” or “no” answer only. For example, instead of asking, "Did you have a good weekend?" you could ask, "What did you do over the weekend?" This would invite and encourage the other person to share their own thoughts and experiences. Participating in small talk with light topics such as about the weather or current events allows you to get to know the other person slowly. As you become closer and comfortable with each other, the conversations can deepen.
In one of my classes, I had a class friend who I talked with only during class or texted if I wanted to catch up on lecture notes. However, I was eager to expand my social circle, and I began to initiate conversations with my class friend before the class began. We discovered a shared interest in career goals related to the class content, and we bonded outside of class by studying together.
3. Join clubs
Finding clubs in your local community or school is an effective way to meet new people and cultivate long-lasting friendships based on common activities. In the case of a sports club, for example, you have the opportunity to bond with other fellow enthusiasts who share your passion and love for the sport. It also offers a supportive environment where you can interact with people who are like you and build connections. Moreover, clubs offer valuable networking opportunities, allowing you to expand your social circle and engage with a diverse range of people, which can lead to new friendships.
I was a part of various clubs that were offered by my high school. Through collaborative projects and shared experiences during the activities we did in those clubs, I felt a sense of belonging and support from the many friends I made during my time.
4. Find common ground
Similar to point three, being part of a club helps you find people that share common interests with you. Identifying shared interests with the person you are connecting with fosters a sense of rapport, empathy, and understanding, laying the foundation of a strong and meaningful friendship.
My work friends and I discovered a shared passion for movies, which became a regular routine for us to bond and enjoy time together. When our schedules aligned on weekends, we made it a tradition to watch a movie together and eat dinner after to continue bonding in our friendship.
5. Be patient!
Building friendships takes time! Patience is key! Do not get discouraged if someone does not seem interested in being your friend. There is always a person for everyone!
It took me a long time to cultivate friendships that were meaningful, and I never gave up.
